Stop and Listen

Papa: So, how is Nina?
Me: what? Oh… ok. Both of us are fine.
Papa: Argue x?
Me: Normal lah pa org berkapel.
Papa: Hahaha. Skng?
Me: x argue pun. Biasa je.
Papa: ala, mama and papa pun argue juga. Tapi papa x melawan. Papa dengar je and malas nak membebel. Biar mama je marah. Bagi dia luahkan ape yg dia x puas ati, kita dengar, cuba paham dia and pujuk dia.
Me: Ahh, pa. I think you don’t need to tell me that.
Papa: eh, why?
Me: I got that from you.
Papa: ohh! Ok. Do you need to know anything?
Me: errmmmm…… sex?
Papa: ...............gatal.

Well, everybody experience conflicts between their loved one sometimes. It is how we handle it give different result. My relationship with Nina teaches me valuable lessons: lower your ego, the power of listening and don’t resist. I learn that if you try to argue with your love, try to prove you are right and don’t even try to listen what she is saying, it only cause blunder. It will not solve anything. Good things about conflict with your loved one is that you understand your partner and yourself even more and you become mature in life if you handle carefully. Most women not really want their man to solve the problem, but they actually want their man to listen or understand what they have been through. They want a listener. What I have learned from this relationship is to learn to listen to your partner in an open, nondefensive way. Give your partner space for expressing herself. Be present. Accusing, defending and attacking will only strengthen your ego and only provoke your loved one. It will not solve anything. It is better for man not to attack their woman. Just try to listen. Analyse the situation, remove your emotion.
I’m not sure whether I have become mature from this relationship. I wish I am.