Friday, May 1, 2009

Don't Resist

Why some people believe that they live in this Earth just to be suffered? Why do they blame God if certain things are not turned out what they expect to be? I have been thinking about this since reading a few blogs relating how miserable their lives are. After reading, analyzing and evaluating based on what they had posted, I believe that the cause of this kind of beliefs or thinking is due to resist the unexpected and unpleasant event.
When something bad happen to them or the outcome is as they expected, they resist it. They will become defensive and try to resist the outcome. The problem is it already happened. How can you resist or not accepting it when it already happen? In Islam, there is Rukun Iman. In this Rukun Iman, there is this believe in Qada dan qadar. This is what it said about Qada and Qadar in Malay language. (I am tired of translating or summarize it in English. Remind me of GHAZLY dreadful translation class.)

Percaya kepada qada dan qadar adalah mempercayai bahawa segala yang berlaku adalah ketentuan Allah semata-mata.
Sebagai seorang Islam wajiblah kita sedar bahawa kita adalah makluk yang lemah, bahawa Allah itulah yang maha Perkasa dan maha Berkuasa dan segala sesuatu adalah berlaku dengan ketetapanNya sahaja. Lantaran itu kita wajib beriman kepada takdir, bahawa segala sesuatu telah ditentukan oleh Allah.
Walaupun begitu kita masih boleh berusaha dan berdoa kerana dengan limpah rahmatnya, Allah mampu mengubah takdir kita.

When you resist something, you create certain emotion of dissatisfaction, you feel weak and despair. In other word, you create pain inside yourself. This pain if you take it to seriously will shaped your perception about the world and life. Once the pain has taken you over, you want more pain. You become a victim or a perpetrator. You want to inflict pain or you want to suffer pain or both. There isn’t really much difference between the two. You are not conscious of this, of course and will vehemently claim that you do not want pain. But look closely and you will find that your thinking and behavior are designed to keep pain going, for yourself and others.

I believe, to avoid from becoming like this, is to accept whatever happen. You have no control of your life and can’t control your fate. It is up to God to determine the course of your life. What these people should do right now is accept whatever unpleasant or unexpected predicament that they face, stop clinging the past and enjoy the process of living. Because, when you die and still the same mindset and behavior, you will realize how ignorant you are and you feel regret for not accepting and enjoying life.


  1. one of the thing that I always question myself when I was in school was why is it that we are given the sense of pain in our body. Why is it that God gave us the ability to feel pain? Why pain? Why something so negative? The whole idea of being able to feel physical pain was something that I rejected for quite sometime because I could not see the reasoning behind it at that time.

    Then I read the book Dare to Fail. In one of the section in the book was a story of a child who has no receptor for pain. God, it was a scary reading. The kid is basically at death's door nearly every moment! There was once he fell down the stairs, broke his leg and arm and he is laughing happily about it, not knowing at all what happened to him. The parents were in constant fear for him, he might just die one day not knowing what or how he died.

    Then it occur to me, wow we NEED pain. Because we realized pain exist we took care of our body. But first we must learn about pain.

    Though I admit that we need to accept what has happened, but that's because it has happened. No more, no less.

    As I said above, I think of pain as a lesson. It MUST be learn, it should not be forgotten. Not forgetting does not mean it should be brood over with, its just that it should not be forgotten, nothing more nothing less.

    To keep saying you have no control over your life and fate is just too simple of a lifestyle my friend. Are you sure about that? Think about it. We DO have control over our life my friend, no matter how limited it is. By saying no control at all, you're undermining the role of living your life aren't you? Are you saying those that work hard are wasting their time? Those pro gamers who dedicate their lifetime to their game as stupid? Player like me that has a record of 130losses on my Tekken card and still trying my hardest to improve as silly? Parents who work very hard to support their children when they can't afford it as irrelevant? And Eliza in Pygmalion as dumb?

    Life is unfair, accepting unfairness as it is is very much questionable to me. Of course we must accept what has happened, but like I said, only because it has happened and brooding over it won't change history. However, just accepting is just so wrong IMO.

    Walaupun begitu kita masih boleh berusaha dan berdoa kerana dengan limpah rahmatnya, Allah mampu mengubah takdir kita.

    just my opinion. If everyone just let go and live happily, it won't be a world to me. Living is about struggling, without it what is there in life?

    no offense though, just opinion

  2. Hmmm… I guess you are right. I guess we need pain in our lives. As a lesson and make us stronger. Need to change my view a little bit. Thanks dude.

    When you said about those pro gamers who dedicate their lifetime to their game, parents who work very hard to support their children when they can't afford and Eliza in Pygmalion, although they face many painful events and memories, they still continue strive something that is important. This I believe due to their passion and chasing or securing something that worth living.

    I never consider it stupid when someone play video games and lose many time. It is your passion. You are what you are. The more you fail (if you accept you failure and learn from your mistake), the more you become stronger. You accept your defeat, you learn from your mistakes and try again. In other word, you don’t resist. You embrace it. Not like some other gamers who resist. When they lose, especially ignorant Malay gamers (except you), when they lose, they will scream and yell, curse and saying that the other gamers are playing unfair, etc. They still play like crap. In this case, they resist. They don’t want to accept defeat and learn from their mistake. Yes, it is painful to face failure. But it is depend on individual to how they want to continue their lives. If they accept the result and improve themselves, that good. But, if they still blaming other players for not allowing him to win and the result are not as he expected, he still be an ignorant brat.

    I still remembered you played Tekken at Mines and just so happened this gamer you were playing with is much better than you. After you lose to him, you shacked hand with him and accepted defeat. Good game. In this case, you don’t resist. If you resist, you definitely left or dash out the arcade and grumble a lot. I think. I know you would not do that. That what I mean by resist and don’t resist.

    Another example, someone in the family died. Two possible scenarios will happen. When you don’t resist, you accept their death. Even though you will experience pain due to their death, the pain will slowly ease out a bit and vanish. After that, you can continue with your life. However, if you resist, you begin to feel enormous pain for the rest of your life. You start questioning God judgment for taking your beloved one, clinging to the past and bring negative influence, not just to you, but other people as well.

    This reminds me when Nina and I were watching Talentime by Yasmin Ahmad. There is one scene when an Indian mother was in despair due to the death of her brother. She would not eat and sleep and make her family members worry. She begins blaming other people for what happen and questioning God for this predicament. Here, she resists. After the daughter is frustrated with her mother, she tells it is her fault for what happen. At first, the mother rebels. But after realize it was true, she accept it.

    To accept what happen is probably the theme of this movie by Yasmin Ahmad. To accept the death of a mother, death of a brother and to accept the love between an Indian boy and a Malay girl.

    Yes. We need pain as a reminder, a lesson and something to make us stronger. But, if we clinging too much and dwelling in pain, it can be dangerous and consuming you in a world of despair.

  3. I agreed about we should not dwell in pain, 100%.

    as you have written "This I believe due to their passion and chasing or securing something that worth living." These people really resist my friend. My point is simply, sometimes you need to resist, no matter how painful it is. Sometimes something is really worth fighting for regardless of the pain that's coming.

    However when it comes to things like death or society related things (relationship bla bla bla) then I think definitely resisting is not a good choice as you have said (I'm sorry I didn't consider in a society view).

    all in all, nice post.

  4. shah, i think i know the perfect someone who will benefit from your post..
    hopefully she'll swing by your blog.
    i think why most people resist is that they are scared of the uncertainty of the consequences.
    they feel like they might not be strong enough to endure the probable horrendous outcome.
    well, the phrase 'be optimistic' has really become a cliche...
    life is either promising or cruel, but let's face it, most of us had a fair share of the latter.
    so perhaps that's the reason to be afraid.

  5. Errm. I guess you are right atie. Do you really want that person to know?