There are always up and down in a relationship especially in boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. Arguments, misunderstanding, treatments and even small stuffs (women are very particular in these tiny details) can cause downfall and predicament in a relationship. However, one thing that I learnt from my relationship based on the conflict that I had with my partner is that you need to lower your ego. Most quarrel that other couple has is they unwilling to lower their ego and both of them think they are right. They will argue for a long time over a matter that can be considered relevant and irrelevant. To me, conflict is important. It teaches us how to be a good listener, mature in handling conflict, understand your partner and become a better person.
I believe that when you scold and make her angry, you just make her turn on her defense mode. She will never try to listen on what you are saying. Instead, she will fight back and try to win, not solving the conflict. This is because, I believe, that you just make her feel embarrass and you hit her pride. I think the best way to solve it is by lowering your ego. You need to let go of your pride and listen to what she has to say. Let her release her anger and dissatisfaction toward you. From here, you know what she is thinking and expect from you. After she has finish, I think you should apologies to her whether you are wrong or right. Then, you tell her what you think about that situation. She needs to know what you think. You can analyse whether her dissatisfaction is rationale or not and both can resolve the problem. For this part here when solving the problem, you definitely need to switch off your ego. The problem would not solve if you are not freeing yourself from your ego. I hope the girl also does the same thing. I would not say that what I am telling you here is an approach on how solve problem with your partner. The most important thing is to discard your ego and try to accept our and our partner’s weaknesses and strengths and become a better person for each other. I do not know why I want to post this kind of topic in my blog. Something is wrong with my head. Probably writing like this is like a therapy.