Friday, June 26, 2009

Goodbye James

To tell you the truth, I’m not that very enthusiastic to go to Singapore anyway. If you read my earlier post about Singapore, it was too sudden and I wasn’t prepared for it. Plus, James was a bit pushy and even called my dad to ask (or force) me to go. And then, something unthinkable happened. After got back from Brunei, I called him about our trip to Singapore. What surprised me was that he actually changed our schedule. Just because he knows that I’m going to drive there, he actually changed plan. My parents’ face changed. They thought that he already planned when to go. The next day, I called him again to confirm when to go. I hate when they plan something at the last minute.

I just got back from West Malaysia and still tired from the trip. Dead tired. He said not sure. Probably Thursday, probably Friday. I begin to hate this guy. He is like using me. My parent got irritated as well. I told him that ‘you better confirm James. Because I’m going back to JB next week. There are a lot of things to do.’ He said Friday then we go. Ok. Confirm. Friday we go. The end. I informed my parent about it.

The next day, he sms me this.

Hi shah! Or should I say Mr. Strauss. Because there is a chance we could leave this Thursday afternoon for Singapore. You can look forward to more Singapore. You can look forward to more time there to browse. You could pack your stuff and be on stand-by this Thursday, couldn’t you?

He just spoiled every plan that my mom and I already planned to do. I asked him to really confirm it because this is too sudden. If my parent hears this, they will definitely piss off.

He sms this to me.

Alright. I will know Thursday morning if all systems, so please pack your bag etc. by then, I really hope to be there by Thursday.

I felt like being used. I feel like a driver to him. I thought James already schedule everything. I told my mom about this and her face changed. She said don’t confirm with James about the trip yet. Discuss with my dad. So, I called him. Told him everything. His tone changed.

He said,

‘Tell James that you are not going there by car. Ask him to book bus tickets to go to Singapore. Sometimes, you need to teach him a lesson. You are not his cabby. That is my final decision.’

‘Pa, don’t you think this is soo last minute?’

‘Xpe, jangan risau. Kata papa cakap macam tu.’

Fyi, my parent never like James. I respect him for his intelligence. But when you become that intelligence, you can be a little bit bossy; you are always thinking you are right and demanding. (Errm, This reminds me of someone). The only reason why we stick with him is because of Kak Yasmeen. A Malay woman who is very humble and kind. I respect her. The only Malay woman that the Mont Blanc company in Singapore respect.

I called James about going by bus. He pissed. He asked why. I said I don’t know. I added that my dad wasn’t confidence with me of driving suddenly. He said this is too last minute and blablalalala. I said that he better called my dad about this. Silence surrounds us. And then, he hung up. A few minutes later, I received a sms.

Shah I am going to Corus hotel tomorrow morning to check whether there are bus tickets TO Singapore and FROM Singapore for return trip. If there are then it will be RM 80 one way. We can get return ticket in Singapore. If there are still tickets. I will pay first for you.

Now, we learn literature, right? Why does the author or writer uses capital letter in their writing? Anyone? Now, look at James sms. He used capital letter on TO and FROM. Capital letter can be used as to stress something important, make someone notice, the sense of urgency or difficulty (I guess). But why James capitalized TO and FROM? Probably he wants to tell me that we are going to Singapore and going back from Singapore. Or, probably to show that it is going to be hard for us to find bus tickets and dreadful To go to Singapore and going back FROM Singapore by bus. Well, this is like literature. Give me your interpretation.

Another thing I want to discuss about this sms is that he told me that he will cover all my expenses which are accommodation, food and transportation. But why suddenly he said “I will pay first for you.” Probably he forgot that he supposes to pay or he just so angry that he tried to make me felt guilty because I owe him. Maybe. Or probably it just in my head. However, one thing that is certain, he is scared of my dad. He hung up after I said ‘try to call my dad’.

5 minutes later, he sent me another sms.

James : Ok. What made him lose confidence in you suddenly?

I said I don’t know. “You better ask my dad. It was his decision”

James : I will. I hope you did not knock down a cat or something. I asked him repeatedly when almost buying air Asia tickets if he really wanted you to drive and he said yes because you need the experience (since you have to drive to JB for school too). I can even get my friend in JB to drive us but this too last minute. And I just found out Yasmeens brother bought the parking coupons for your car already. (Actually, I don’t. I’m used to driving back and forth JB-KL)

I just said sorry and added ‘well, shit happen.”

He sent me another sms.

Shit happens accidently, not decisively. Really if I can’t get a ticket tomorrow I need you to drive. Personally, do YOU WANT TO drive and are YOU CONFIDENT?

I sent him this.

I can drive n ok with it. The idea of me drivin was from my dad. That why u better ask him. It was his idea.

James last sms with me and probably ever.

It’s alright. Don’t worry about it. Let’s see what troubling his conscience. Maybe as a father he is worried about your independent capability because unlike Shafiq who is already working, he feels you are still untested yet and naïve. It is natural. It’s possible he could not say this to me so as not to disrespect you. I can understand. Keeping to his word means nothing compared to making a wrong decision by letting you risk something on your own. And I know how you feel too. It’s never easy growing up with doting protective parents. You get pampered and stifled too. I was once a child too. It can be embarrassing at times in front of more independent friends but parents are human too and they can make mistakes too. Though not everybody can understand or accept it, especially outsiders. We just need to keep on learning with each experience, whether its family or friends. As Steve chandler said, ‘the idea is not to let the mistake be repeated twice.’ So, take it easy and hope we get bus tickets. I spent RM 200 just today calling Singapore to arrange to go there fast.

It seems he wanted me to rebel with my parent by referring me as untested and naïve and comparing me with my brother. I not sure whether shafiq is more independent than me and so on, I know that both of us never compare ourselves with each other. Even my parent. Protective and dotty? My Parent? Hell no. I showed this sms to Shafiq and he was so pissed. Even called James ‘A Bitch’. I said to him ‘No, bastard. Because he is a guy.” “No, he is a bitch. Main sedap dia je cakap macam 2. Dia tu tau sgt ke family kita. Dia sendiri xnk ada ank. Ape yang dia tau.” Whoa. That is harsh. Oh well. I’m glad that I didn’t go to Singapore. That night, my mom called my dad that she does not allowed me to go to Singapore because James using me. Actually, I asked her to do that. I’m tired from the previous trip and felt like being used. My dad said ok. He called James. But before that, I told him about the sms. He just kept quiet and slowly grabbed his hand phone and type something that he would not let me see. After that, James hasn’t sms me since. Case close.


  1. I can still follow around the whole story until the point where he compares you to your brother. Man that is utter bullshit. I see no point at any moment where he really considers your situation, a good thing you give him the slap in the hand.

    You've grown Shah. As someone who always talks to you, I'm glad you have.

  2. thanks kei. Actually, i owe it to you, my dad and nina. by talking to you guys, i realize my weaknesses and strenght and how to become a better person. mingle with the right people is necessary to improve and change urself for the better. there are a lot of things i need to change (my mindset is on of them), but through our chattin, it help me to achieve what we call, tq.